A different beginning

Its not really a beginning persae but a continuation of a life. I can't say i'm any better but i'm past that breaking point and i've made minor adjustments to my life. V is out of my life i just deleted him he wasnt worth my time. Trying to focus on Pillaging and had to put Innocent and Unknown back in the shadows but for now its worth it. We indeed have a drummer and i'm excited to see where this takes the band. Sadly i have fallen for another guy and while for once he isn't a complete asshole, i still feel inadequate only because he is such a good guy and he has faith and all this hope and compassion that i don't see in most. Im actually afraid i would corrupt him altho he is just as WEIRD as me. And for once he is older than me, still he is a musician (would i fall for anyone else, usually not) but he just gets to me cos he fits most of my preconceived ideas of what i want in a guy. I feel like im being taunted because he shows some interest in me but unlike past guys i refuse to say anything first. I need to think before i speak, he is my friend and i definitely dont want to lose him.
I don't know what to do because he is christian and i am nothing, i don't have a faith and i feel incomplete. Im curious about religions for sure but i just cant choose and maybe its because i don't know if i believe in any of them. I'm spiritual i do believe in higher powers mainly earth bound but here is my dilemma do i believe there is one grand being or do i stray and believe in many??? whole ignorance i'm sure but with romans and greeks having multilple deities and pagans the same. and then christianity,muslims, and buddism having only one its weighs heavy on which is true which is believable and to me none of them are... I'm sacriligious i know but atleast i'm not a satanist i guess lol
well damn ahve to head to work will have a whole nother post on my religious and govermental woes at a later date