oh my god what have I done??

again i have done what i shouldn't have done lol... After my show saturday technically sunday morning at this point, i was still quite tipsy and well I took my friends' advice and I finally straight up told the guy i like that i indeed liked him.
I know he read it but of course as usual he never replied and i don't know if i'm actually glad he didn't. The thing is last night i had a dream that his friends tried to get me stoned to see if i would tell them straight up that i liked him.. i won't use their names either just cos that would be awkward, but one of them left cos he said he had to run somewhere and his other friend was like here smoke this bowl. And then he left and after like hitting two or three times i thought it was odd that neither of them came back so i started throwing my backpack together. In the dream this weird reporter was like in my face asking me questions, but i pushed her aside and ran out the door.. i got in my car and drove off but they were there with him in the car and they all flipped me off. Well I drove off and they followed me and i was omg they're gonna kill me or something... They didn't but they did confront me and i went off. I straight up was like listen forget i said anything cos its not like i should care about anyone anymore anyway. I told him i was sick of telling people my feelings and that's why i never let people in or let myself trust people.. (don't get me wrong i trust my friends and most of my family but with everyone else i'm a bit reserved, although now because of being in the music scene i've opened up a bit more. Like i enjoy meeting new bands and hearing new music, but i hate having to be social, it really irks me cos i feel like i'm so fake.. but really i'm not i do like most of the bands we've played with.) ok back to the dream... He was like just talk to me for a minute and i was like why motherfucker you just flipped me off. He was like i'm angry cos i hate when people lie to me and i was like fuck i didn't lie to you, my fault is i opened my heart just a little bit and now i wish it was black and motionless, because obviously you are another notch on the rejection stick(perhaps my spine i'm not sure) He looked hurt when i said it but i didn't care i was livid and the whole situation was fucked up, unfortunately the dream ended there but i think it was supposed to because i don't know where he stands on the situation and plainly i'm glad. Plus i don't think i will see him again although by some grace of god if we have a show together i will be avoiding him like the plague. not his plague, but mine. I can't let him near me, i can't let him in because i care too much but i don't think now its about him. its about conserving my heart but i hate having my heart and i wish i couldn't see or couldn't love. don't get me wrong i'm not really depressed i guess just right now i feel like an ass because its the i told the guy and he'll never talk to me again syndrome. does that make sense??? well i gotta stop there cos yay i get to go to work.